homesick

homesick

I cant believe its been so long since either of us has written anything. 42 days to be exact. I woke up this morning thirsty for God, thinking of Him and unable to shake the strongest desire that felt unquenchable. I was overwhelmed with a longing aching feeling like someone who has traveled home after an endless and tiresome journey.
In this life my heart continually fails me and deceives me, just as He warned it would. My breath feels fleeting and hollow unless every inhale and exhale proclaims His wonderful and fearful name. This world is a cruel place. Far from the home I remember and desire so greatly to return to. Even as I write this, flashes of my journey litter my thoughts, tempt me to stay where I know I can not. I am captivated, led astray, ive been swindled, stripped, robbed and abandoned by all the darkness that fills this place. And this morning my heart remembers faintly a place, a past, or maybe something that has not yet come but I already know it like I know the feeling of cool shards of green grass on my bare feet on a hot Colorado morning. Like I remember the smell of buttered wheat toast and coffee with the sound of the TV in the other room while we get ready for school. Like the crisp burn of chilling mountain air filling my lungs. Comfort, safety, rescue.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me besides the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his names sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surly goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23




Heaven. I long for heaven.




But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part: but then shall I know even as also I am know.

1 Corinthians 13:10-12

What it Takes...

What it Takes...

Luke 14:33 says  "So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple."  

Who does Jesus mean by whosoever?

What all does Jesus want us to give up and forsake?

What does Jesus mean by cannot? 

 
Watch these videos - short excerpts of a few different sermons.  It's important.













Consider  2 Corinthians 4:10-11

 

Live 2 Give

Live 2 Give

So, we're reading Luke right now. It's interesting, I remember the last time we went through Luke and even which particular things stuck out to me. I wrote a post about it. I seemed to have passed by chapter 6 verses 30 and 35 without a second thought. But for some reason I came across these verses this time around and they practically put me in a cold sweat! I even had a hard time sleeping the night after I read it.  


"Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again." 
  Luke 6:30


"...lend, hoping for nothing again..."
Luke 6:35


Dang it.  There it is again.   I'd like to think that I'm not a very selfish person.  I do like to give, I like to help, I like to love.   But, I guess I've realized that my best attempts at selflessness are pretty few and far between....  sporadic at best.     Give to every person that asks of me?   I wonder if I give 50% of the time I am asked.   And who exactly does Jesus mean when He says "every"?   It sounds like He's talking about everyone.   And if I do give... is it cheerful?    Do I give because I will feel better if I give?  What would it look like if I truly gave every time someone asked?  And not only that, but gave simply because they asked.  


And it doesn't stop there.  If someone takes or borrows something of mine... don't ask for it back?   I'm pretty sure I just did that like last week.  And I'm pretty sure that when I lend something to someone I hope to get it back probably about 100% of the time.  Sometimes I even tell them before I entrust them with my "sacred" thing.... "please bring this back".


One of my mentors, an incredible servant of Jesus in his 80's, told me a few years back that when someone asks to borrow something that I shouldn't lend what I don't plan on giving.  That always stuck with me, but more as like a good word of wisdom.  But not like a.... command.   I didn't realize that he was practically quoting Jesus.


I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that there are too many things that I'm too possessive over.  Some things are actual physical things I have.  But there are others as well.... like my time.


It's funny how blind we can be to our own selfishness.

The Year Of Living Like Jesus

The Year Of Living Like Jesus

I Just started reading the book “The Year of Living Like Jesus” by Ed Dobson. This was the book that initially inspired Tim and I to start reading the gospels over and over and over. I was in the Christian bookstore one afternoon, noticed the book and picked it up. Read a few pages and felt inspired. Mentioned it to Tim on the drive home, and voua la, our idea to read and blog was born. Somehow it took me a couple months to get around to actually buying the book and now, to start reading it. And man oh man. Yeah we were inspired by a few good pages, but I had no idea how little we were just scratching the surface of the journey this man Ed Dobson embarked on.
In short Ed set aside a year of his life to try and live exactly as Jesus did. Using the fundamental belief that as Christians Jesus is our Rabbi. And if we are his disciples, we should truly try to be just like our Rabbi. The truth in his thinking is undeniable.
I realized in the first chapter that he was not only trying to learn about Jesus by reading the gospels, he began a journey of increasing his knowledge of the Jewish traditions and beliefs that Jesus no doubt lived by so that he too could live like that for a year. And here we have been, reading the gospels two chapters at a time every morning for the last two months. I wish I had picked the book up earlier. I feel convicted, inspired, challenged and invigorated. Mr. Dobson took it upon him self to learn and follow not only Jesus' teachings, but follow how he ate, dressed, spent his time on the Sabbath, etc. Learn from what we really know about his life. Learn like a disciple is expected to learn from his Rabbi.
While our intentions are in NO way trying to replicate his decision to live like Jesus for a year I have found my self troubled by this question tonight:
Why not?
Why am I NOT trying to live more like Jesus? Why when it seems so radical and absurd to the rest of the world do I too dismiss it as impractical and crazy. I worry about judgment, what other people will think, what the church my fellow believers will think….. Apparently, I really care about what other people think.
The Gospel is not something to read, it is something to live, certainly a different way of living than the rest of the world.
Here is a quote from Francis Chan’s “Crazy Love” that particularly sticks out in my mind tonight.

It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in out day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity.


I have some serious thinking and praying to do.

A heavenly feast

A heavenly feast

So I wanted a food blog. And somehow last year I managed to turn our "God blog" into mainly a "dog blog" which now I am not entirely sure how I feel about that. But in light of all that I have to say I am pleased with how this blog has turned out so far. I love reading Tim's thoughts and insights about our daily readings, and now I feel inspired to share some thoughts of my own. As much as I would love colored pictures of fresh baked fruit tarts and curried leg of lamb I would have to actually start cooking those things before I could blog about them, so I guess that's out of the question for the time being.

We were reading in John this morning about Jesus speaking to a Samaritan woman by Jacob's well. His travels had left him hungry, thirsty and tired to the bone. His disciples were out buying food for him - their worn and wearied Rabbi - while he sat and asked a stranger for a cup of water. When they returned from their errand of love, he refused their food and said I have meat to eat that ye know not of. Clearly confused, and equally offended that he was talking to this woman, they debated amongst themselves as to what food he could have possibly eaten. He simply replied My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.

His food was to do Gods work.

Now I must say that truly nothing has been more satisfying than to experience being a part of God's plan and being allowed and trusted to carry out a work order directly from our Father in heaven.

One of the greatest joys in my life has been a recent ministry God has allowed us to be a part of. He has been faithfully bringing a growing group of high school girls to our home on Friday evenings to celebrate Shabbat and break bread together.

This massive blessing was nothing we concocted or set into action. It was nothing that took months of strategic planning by inviting just the right people and having just the right things to do that made it both entertaining and yet a valuable time spent in Gods word and truth. It simply just happened. And God has blessed it. He has been bringing the young women to our home for good food, good company and good teachings about His word. And this has been the most incredible spiritual feast I could have ever hoped for.

Go with him twain

Go with him twain

Matthew 5:41  "...and whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain".

Caesar had instated a law that the Roman government could press any Jewish person into carrying a load for up to a mile.  So, if they (Romans) were lucky, they could go mile-to-mile 'enlisting' person after person to bear their load.   I can only imagine how this would make someone feel.  The Jews weren't just waiting around to serve the Romans... their lives didn't revolve around them.  They had lives, work, things to do, places to be.  And the Romans could at any time force them to walk an entire mile in any direction.  Imagine how incredibly inconvenient that would be, especially if you were in the middle of doing something or going somewhere.  Of course inconvenience was probably laced with feelings of anger, frustration, and being degraded and devalued. 

And then Jesus lays this down, that if anyone compels you to go a mile, go with him two.  I don't think we have to think hard to realize that two miles is more inconvenient than one.  It takes you further away from where your life and your interests are, and takes you away for a longer period of time.   So, from this we can take with us a simple command:  choose compassion over convenience.  Bear the load of others, and go with them further than what's required or expected.  Allow yourself to venture further away from your own self interests for the sake of another. 

Sounds simple, but maybe not so easy.

Remember Lot's Wife

Remember Lot's Wife

Luke 9:57-62 tells us of three consecutive conversations Jesus had with individuals who desired to follow Him:  

"And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee withersoever thou goest.  And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.
And he said unto another, Follow me.  But he said, suffer me first to go and bury my father.  Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.
And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.  And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."  (KJV)

What strikes me here is how unapologetic Jesus is.  And it may sound funny, but what also strikes me is how serious He is.    He makes it absolutely clear the cost of following Him.   Following Him is not necessarily an act of convenience.  It does not allow us time to pack an overnight bag with items which will make us feel safe, secure, or give us comforting thoughts of what we left behind while we're on the journey.   Leave NOW.  Or don't.   Following Christ is a decision of Today... not tomorrow.   And if we should wait, if we should look back, we are not "fit for the kingdom of God."   Hard words, or just Truth?


Luke 17:32 says, "Remember Lot's wife."  We know that as Lot and his wife fled from the judgment and destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah they were instructed not to look back.  And Lot's wife disregarded those words.   She looked back to her old life.  She looked back upon what God led her away from.   Perhaps with sympathy, perhaps with a longing to return, perhaps questioning her decision to leave and walk this 'new path'. 
We learn that as she looked back she essentially received judgment and turned into a pillar of salt. 
Remembering Lot's wife causes us to remember that to not "look back" is not merely a suggestion.  It's a command, and it's for real.  And, again, as Jesus tells the man in chapter 9, those who "look back" are not fit for the kingdom of God.  

That brings me back to how unapologetic Jesus is as he tells people this stuff.   And that's because the Kingdom of God is not a kingdom of compromise.  Follow Jesus with everything you are, or not at all.   And should we just proclaim that we wish to follow Christ and leave it at that?  We see in the scripture that Jesus is not satisfied with our 'lip service'.   He doesn't want our words, He wants our hearts... our lives.  For though our redemption is a free gift, given through Christ; the cost to follow Him is great.    Are you willing?

And yes, we're not perfect and won't be until heaven.  We haven't 'arrived', and shouldn't pretend we have.  And so I am thankful for the unconditional gift of grace and mercy as I follow my Messiah, my Rabbi.   But I only experience the sweet taste of grace and mercy as I press forward with my God.  As I re-orient my eyes straight ahead.  And walk. 

Finished with Luke.  We're on to the book of John.   God is good!

then Jesus, beholding him, loved him

then Jesus, beholding him, loved him

Mark 10:21-22 brings us the conclusion of a conversation between Jesus and the 'rich, young ruler' who sought Jesus for the way to eternal life.  The man seemed to follow the scriptures well enough, did the 'right' things.  What more would God ask?

"Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.  And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions."  (KJV)

The answer to the question...  everything.    We serve a God who gives all, and asks all.  And is not in the business of negotiating or compromising to suit our reluctance to give him every area of our lives.  In fact, we read that the man went away grieved, and there is no mention (in any of the gospel accounts) of Jesus trying to stop him, calling out "oh wait... let's just talk about this..."   ... "how can we make you a Christian today?" "...just do this, and this, and I'll overlook the rest.  Part of your life is fine."   Jesus wasn't concerned with quantity and numbers to validate his ministry.  He wasn't concerned with creating casual, compromising Christians.  He sought (and seeks) those who will give everything for Him.  "Take up the cross, and follow me" He says.   We should know that the cross at that time didn't mean all that it means to us now.  Currently, when we see a cross we know it is a symbol of hope, truth, salvation, forgiveness, Jesus.  But at this point in time He hadn't been crucified.  The cross meant none of those things.   At that time to speak of a cross (and to take up and carry one) meant only one thing:   death.  To die.   A death penalty for criminals.

So, Jesus asks us to take up our cross... to follow him.  To die to ourselves.  To surrender our everything: our bodies, our mind, our will, our choices, our money, our lifestyles, our love lives, our sexuality, our relationships.  To crucify our lives and lifestyles for a resurrected, pure, holy, blessed one.  To radically live and love for Him.   And we have learned that without Jesus' death, there would have been no glorious resurrection.  And the servant is not greater than his lord (John 15:20).  Speaking of individual areas of our lives, can we then expect a glorious resurrection of a pure, holy, blessed lifestyle, mind, love life, relationship, etc. unless we first lay it down for Him?

The other thing that stuck out to me about this passage in Mark are the first 6 words:  ..... "Then Jesus beholding him loved him."    Jesus shared with this man what he lacked.  Certainly doesn't seem like an encouraging thing to tell someone.  But I was caught by how the scripture says that Jesus beheld the young man and loved him and then he told him what he lacked.... what he needed to surrender and give up to follow him.     So too does God behold and love us exceedingly - and as an act of that love He exposes areas of our lives that are lacking.  Areas which we need to give up, leave behind, surrender.   It wouldn't be love if He didn't give us and lead us to what was the absolute best: Himself.   It wouldn't be love if he didn't give us and lead us to life and away from death.   Wouldn't allowing us to walk straight into darkness and death - away from Him - without saying anything or attempting to guide us out of it be a loveless act?   If God compromised simply to make it 'easier' to be a Christian it wouldn't be an act of love at all.  Quite the opposite.

All for now.  Currently reading and being blessed by the book of Luke.

THE JOURNEY

THE JOURNEY

It's interesting to think about what exactly it meant to be a disciple of a rabbi in the context of the time Jesus walked this earth.  First, we know that a disciple didn't choose to be one.  Rather, he was chosen (John 15:16).  Inspected by the rabbi himself, it first had to be determined whether or not this young man had what it took to be his student.  You see, the goal of the disciple wasn't merely to learn the ways and teachings of their rabbi. But rather, to absorb every word of their rabbi.  To follow so closely that they were covered by the very dust which was kicked up by their rabbi's feet.  To be like their rabbi.

As disciples of our Rabbi - Jesus - we strive to absorb His every word. To be like Him. That our words would be as His, that our lives would look like His.  It's no accident that we have been given four accounts of His earthly ministry.  Accounts which describe in some detail the things He said and the way He acted.  

We have had pressed upon our hearts to read one gospel account a week together.  Continually.  That we may lean into our Rabbi's own words and actions.  And learn to be more like him.  What better way than to continually immerse ourselves in his own words, teachings, and life story?   We'll be writing our reflections and thoughts (as sort of an e-journal) as we read a gospel each week.  The purpose of this is, in general, to:

1)  Help us process what we have read,

2)  As we continue to rotate through each book (of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John), to share what God has brought to our attention and laid on our hearts.

3)  Help keep us accountable.

Our prayer is that perhaps, God willing, He'd find pleasure in speaking to others through this gospel journey.  We have begun this blog at the end of week 2, as we finish Mark and move on to Luke.   Enjoy and many blessings to you.