homesick

homesick

I cant believe its been so long since either of us has written anything. 42 days to be exact. I woke up this morning thirsty for God, thinking of Him and unable to shake the strongest desire that felt unquenchable. I was overwhelmed with a longing aching feeling like someone who has traveled home after an endless and tiresome journey.
In this life my heart continually fails me and deceives me, just as He warned it would. My breath feels fleeting and hollow unless every inhale and exhale proclaims His wonderful and fearful name. This world is a cruel place. Far from the home I remember and desire so greatly to return to. Even as I write this, flashes of my journey litter my thoughts, tempt me to stay where I know I can not. I am captivated, led astray, ive been swindled, stripped, robbed and abandoned by all the darkness that fills this place. And this morning my heart remembers faintly a place, a past, or maybe something that has not yet come but I already know it like I know the feeling of cool shards of green grass on my bare feet on a hot Colorado morning. Like I remember the smell of buttered wheat toast and coffee with the sound of the TV in the other room while we get ready for school. Like the crisp burn of chilling mountain air filling my lungs. Comfort, safety, rescue.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me besides the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his names sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surly goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23




Heaven. I long for heaven.




But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part: but then shall I know even as also I am know.

1 Corinthians 13:10-12