making my peace with the rain

making my peace with the rain

Let me just start by saying that this post is not another rant about the weather here. Yes the weather has been really hard for me, and yes I LOVE to complain about it, but I think God has been using it to grow me in ways I never thought possible....and now.... I'm starting to love the rain.

When we went back to Colorado last week I was anticipating ninety degree dry hot heat, dusty hikes and sweating in the car. What I got was low drippy clouds, cold temperatures and a whole lot of happy Coloradoans who desperately needed the rain. I cried. A lot.

But then I reached a point where I knew that I could not let the weather affect my attitude any more. It was about to ruin a wonderful time at home with our family and there was no reason for that. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. And God started to speak to me about it. In fact he dealt with me. Ive never been so glad to be "dealt with." I realized that although God may not have caused a cold summer in Seattle and a rainy weekend in Colorado just to teach me something important, but he sure used it. I was letting my personal discomfort get in the way of the work that God has for Tim and I out here. Something I thought I would never do. I became more concerned with my fatigue and weight gain and inability to run everyday with the sun shining on my back than the true reason we are here in the first place. I had lost sight of the path and I realized in Colorado just how long I had been sitting in the same spot waiting for God to present me with a path that "looked better" until I would agree to move on.

So last night Tim and I went to a worship concert at the Evergreen state fair. We went to see Leland and Jars of Clay. I was looking forward to the show all summer. But yesterday afternoon it started pouring down rain. I thought for SURE they would cancel the outdoor show, but of course they didn't. The rain doesn't stop anything or anyone here. They still do outdoor landscaping including mowing the lawn in all right downpours . So we attended in true Washington style, with sweatshirts, jeans and two tiny umbrellas which we couldn't use anyways. At the very first song, I stood up and opened up my hands and felt the rain fill them up. My eyes watered and I began to sob. Not because I was sad that it had rained on our concert, but because I was filled with the most unbelievable joy, the joy of freedom from my bondage. The Lord brought me into the most amazing worship right there in the freezing cold rain. At that moment it didn't matter what the weather was or what I looked like or what any of our circumstances were, all that mattered was God.

I will wrap this up by saying that God is so good to me. He has been more patient than I ever imagined and he is faithful beyond my comprehension. I feel him healing me as I continue the process of surrendering my fear and hurt from the depression that griped me after our move. And today it is raining, but I feel better than I have in a long time.

Here is a new photo of us at the rose gardens in Seattle. Surprisingly it was sunny that day : )